E.O. Schaub

Dear Mr. Disney CEO,
I want to be a Disney Princess someday but my friends tell me I can’t because I am a black, Jewish, lesbian with a speech impediment and links to al Quaeda. Is this true?

Lanelle in Larchmont

Dear Lanelle,
Although it is true that to date there is not yet an African American, a Judaic American, or a differently- abled, alternately sexually-preferenced, Terrorist-harboring American currently among the Disney Princesses, the process of creating and vetting new potential princesses is much more complicated than one might at first suspect, and one that is, in fact, going on all the time. Continue reading So You Want to Be a Disney Princess →