E.O. Schaub

Hello folks, hi there, how’re you doing today.

I’d just like to take a moment to introduce myself. I’m the father of the baby who’ll be in the front row of the aircraft screaming for the majority of the flight today, so if you have any questions, comments, or unsolicited advice you’d like to offer, I’d be happy to take those from you at this time.

But before we begin, I’d also like to introduce my wife Lauren who is here next to me. For those of you in the back who do not have a clear view at this time, she’ll be the one with the liquid baby Tylenol in her hair and an entire strawberry breakfast bar stuck to her pantleg later on in the flight. If you happen to have brought your lunch with you onboard the aircraft today, please be aware that the baby’s mother’s diet today has consisted entirely of dehydrated apple squares, two Wintergreen Lifesavers, and one Ritz Bitz. Thank you, now let’s take some questions. Continue reading Thank You For Flying →