Category Archives: One in a Thousand

A Reindeer in Headlights

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E.O. Schaub

At holiday time, there’s really nothing like a story of someone else’s misfortune to completely stop you in your tracks- like a reindeer in headlights. (Whoa! Ho Ho!) It very effectively interrupts all the self-focused thoughts encouraged by the obligations and diversions of the season.

Here’s how it happened to me: it so happens that we’re doing some work on our house, and today, a fellow asked if he could take some of the discarded plywood from the dumpster. Before I could even say oh-my-God-yes-I-mean-we-actually-have-to-pay-to-take-this-stuff-away-so-it-can-sit-and-rot-in-a-landfill-please-please-please-take-it-and-do-something-karmically-better-than-that, he began to explain that it was for a friend, some folks who live in a trailer and have spots in the floor so soft it’s actually dangerous to walk on them, for fear of falling right through.

(Pause.)

Also, he mentioned, he knows another fellow who’s homeless, and currently is residing in an old school bus.

(Pause)

Okay, whoa.

Did I mention that it is 17 degrees outside as I write this? That even the snowmen are wincing when the wind blows today? What kind of insulating factor do you think a school bus provides, anyway? It’s a cliché, perhaps, but it’s still true: what on earth to get Great Grouchy Aunt Matilda, or whether a pad of decorative Post-its counts as a nice stocking stuffer, suddenly didn’t seem to matter as much as it did a few minutes ago. Continue reading A Reindeer in Headlights →

When I Am 82, I Hope I Am Like Jane Rinck

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Note: I’m sad to say that Pawlet recently lost one of its most colorful and generous citizens: Jane Rinck passed away this fall at the young age of 90 having always done exactly what she wanted to and felt was right. What follows is a poem I wrote in 2006 for the occasion of her being named Pawlet Citizen of the Year. I still feel the same way. We miss you, Jane.

E. O. Schaub

When I am 82, I hope I have the creativity to write and paint and sculpt and make music;
the courage to stand up at Town Meeting and say what I think;
the adventurousness to learn to ride a bike for the first time.

When I am 82, I hope I have the drive to make new things in the world;
the inspiration to support both young and old in their education and creativity,
and a generosity of spirit that is powerful enough to change my town.

When I am 82 I hope I change the world in my own quiet way,
with wit and wisdom
and an unselfish love of life itself.

Jane has often bid me: “Farewell!”
If by 82 I could do even some small portion of these things,
I will have fared very well, indeed.

Pawlet's Handicapped Decision

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E.O. Schaub

PAWLET— In a unique move yesterday the residents of Pawlet narrowly voted no on a measure to continue updates to the historic Pawlet Town Hall by matching a $105,000 handicapped access grant with a $50,000 loan.

“Are you kidding me?” one unidentified voter explained, “In this economy, getting triple our initial investment is just not good enough. Heck- they could octuple our money and it wouldn’t be enough. For fifty-thousand dollars I want Donald Trump on his hands and knees sanding the floors in a three piece suit, and a deep tissue massage for every town resident from a Las Vegas chorus girl.”

Varying degrees of this same sentiment were echoed at the town informational meeting held the night preceding the town-wide vote.

“For that amount of money, couldn’t we just fix all the handicapped people in town?” Eunice Staunchbaum wondered that night. Longtime selectman Keith Mason replied that, in his opinion, fixing all the handicapped people was probably not a possibility, although in fact no one actually had the numbers with them at that moment to back this assertion up. Continue reading Pawlet's Handicapped Decision →