Category Archives: Radio

Native to Nowhere

One in a Thousand, Radio, , ,

Screen shot 2011-09-26 at 1.13.39 PMoneinathousandlogo

E.O. Schaub

You know, I’m starting to get the odd feeling that I’m not really from anywhere. I know that I’ve mentioned before the fact that, according to local lore here in the green mountains, you don’t get to be a “local” unless you were born here- period. Too bad kid- as the Hindus say- better luck next life.

On the other hand, it’s only a scant four-hour drive between here and the New York City suburb where I grew up, but I fit in there about as well as a… a …. a gooseberry in a half-caff iced latte moccacino.

So you can see my dilemma. My mother, lives in New York and calls herself a New Yorker- and she is. (Of course, you can have moved to New York from the Outer Flamblastic Nebula yesterday, have polka dotted skin, and speak only in homonyms, and still be considered a perfectly legitimate New Yorker.) But I’m pretty clearly not. How do I know? Well, I have this weird propensity to smile at people. And I have a bizarre aversion to having TVs shoved in my face everywhere I go. And I don’t swear nearly enough. So you can see I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or a farmstand and a Starbucks if you prefer. Continue reading Native to Nowhere →

27 Things I Never Knew Before Moving to Vermont

One in a Thousand, Radio

oneinathousandlogo

Screen shot 2011-09-26 at 1.13.39 PM

E.O. Schaub

  1. How to plunge a toilet (really)

  2. What mouse droppings look like

  3. What a mouse nest looks like

  4. How m-u-u-u-u-u-ch I dislike mice (Remember Harrison Ford’s reaction to snakes in Raiders of the Lost Ark? Like that… but worse.)

  5. How to dispose of a dead mouse without suffering post-traumatic stress

  6. That real egg yolks don’t actually look and taste like styrofoam

  7. That a cow would actually make a really bad pet

  8. How to correctly pronounce “Mother Myrick’s” (even though it still sounds wrong) and what’s really in a Lemon Lulu

  9. How much I like just staying home and watching the bird feeder and gardening

  10. That birds are actually pretty cool

  11. That gardening is actually pretty hard

  12. How to make jam

  13. What the BEST thing in the world is: a hot cider doughnut

  14. What the most disappointing thing in the world is: a cold cider doughnut

  15. That showing up for the 5PM church supper at 4:50 means you’re late, (everybody knows it really starts at 4:30)

  16. That you can’t really say a polite hello in fewer than twenty minutes. Continue reading 27 Things I Never Knew Before Moving to Vermont →

Reborn on the Fourth of July

One in a Thousand, Radio, ,

WAMC-LOGO 

“Reborn on the Fourth of July” originally aired on WAMC on July 4th, 2007.  Click on the WAMC logo to listen to the audio version of this article.

oneinathousandlogo

E.O. Schaub

The fourth of July is coming— and it’s a good thing. This has been a tough year for our family, what with my father-in-law’s passing from cancer in December, the requisite bout of seemingly endless winter illness that comes of having two small, school-age children, and a local economic climate that is causing everyone we know to rethink whether staying in the sticks is really worth it… or even possible.

I’m reminded of the local joke about “Moonlighting in Vermont.” Despite the fact that a Vermont existence sounds idyllic to folks who live elsewhere, the reality is often something else again. Never mind the hard winters… almost everyone we know faces a never-ending struggle to make living here make financial sense. As my husband likes to say, it’s hard to enjoy the famous Vermont “Quality of Life” if you’re working 24 hours per day.

But then, just when we seem ready to despair, and pack up our assorted belongings, kids and animals for more lucrative and suburban climes, summer always seems to arrive just in time. Continue reading Reborn on the Fourth of July →