E.O. Schaub

I’ve been compiling a list of definitions specific to the Vermont area which may come in handy to the novice Vermontian. If you are a “Vermonter” these will not be new to you. (And by “Vermonter” I mean, you were born in the state of Vermont. Also, your mother, father, grandparents, and ideally great-grandparents, were born in Vermont. It would be helpful too if your cousins, your spouse, your farm animals and pets were born in Vermont. Also, your houseplants must be native to Vermont, and ideally, you have at some point in your life been engaged in a heated debate over the merits of your favorite grade of maple syrup.)

However, if you are a “Flatlander,” that is, someone who had the great misfortune to be born in some other, icky state -and I can tell you are by the shape of your eyebrows- you may want to bone up on some of these essential terms.

(Please note, if you belong to neither of the above groups, we must assume you belong either to the category of the migrating, multi-pocketed “Second-Home Owner,” or perhaps the nocturnal, left-wing-ed “College Student,” —aka the “Snowboarding Dirt Smoker.” Or maybe you belong to that most transient of Vermont life forms, the “Tourist” —see also “Leaf-Peeper,” “Syrup-Sucker,” and “Snow-Hugger.” In these cases, the primary phenomenon that should interest you is Ben and Jerry’s “Free Cone Day.” This is a special annual holiday arranged by the Vermont legislature which should more than make up for those silly higher non-resident property taxes and tourism-targeted sales fees.) Continue reading A Glossary of Vermont Terms →