Category Archives: One in a Thousand

The August that Never Was

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oneinathousandlogoE.O.Schaub

If you haven’t been in Vermont this summer then you might not know what a weird, wet, clammy time it’s really been around here. June was tepid and iffy; July was a soppy, mosquito-filled bust. Gardens everywhere around here were looking like the setting for a horror flick entitled “Attack of the Slimy, Water-Treading Slugs from Heck!” (Movie slogan: “Would you be ready if your tomatoes… never ripened?!?Aieaaagh!!!”) People have been applying raincoats instead of sunscreen and- brace yourself- carrying umbrellas. I know! That’s how drastic things have been. Our driveway runneth over.

August was the only month presenting a respectable semblance of some summery-ish weather, and the annual monster heat wave? You know the one: the heat-wave-that-inspires-you-to-finally-give-in-and-haul-the-AC-unit-out-of-the-four-million-degree-attic-and-give-yourself-a-triple-hernia-in-the-process? Never came.

One night my husband and I were exclaiming over a slight rise in humidity when he had a bright idea- “hey!” he said, “I could, you know, open these windows!” Oh yeah! They open! That’s the kind of summer it’s been. Continue reading The August that Never Was →

The Road to Hell is Paved with Theme Art Auctions

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WAMC-LOGO”The Road to Hell is Paved with Theme Art Auctions” originally aired on WAMC in 2007.  Click on the WAMC logo to listen to the audio version of this article.

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E. O. Schaub

Ah summer. Time for the return of so many familiar, warm-weather things: strawberry picking… outdoor concerts on a picnic blanket… farmer’s markets …and increasingly, the inevitable charity theme art auction, (cue the ominous music.)

Oh, it all started out innocently enough. Way back in the summer of 1999 the city of Chicago held the now-renowned public art exhibition “Cows on Parade,” featuring some 300 life-size artist-decorated fiberglass cows. (Little known fact— Cow Parade actually made it’s original debut in Zurich, Switzerland the year before, with an astonishing 800 of the beautified bovines.)

At that time it was a brand-new and rather innovative concept: pick a generic form, create multiples, have artists decorate each one differently, display them for a period, and then auction the pieces off for charity.

It caught on like wildfire, and not surprisingly. I mean, the whole thing sounds a Chamber of Commerce director’s dream. After all, we’re killing multiple birds with one stone, aren’t we? Between awareness of the arts, fund-raising for a good cause, and an event that the community can get behind while promoting the region to tourism as well… what’s not to like? Continue reading The Road to Hell is Paved with Theme Art Auctions →

Native to Nowhere

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E.O. Schaub

You know, I’m starting to get the odd feeling that I’m not really from anywhere. I know that I’ve mentioned before the fact that, according to local lore here in the green mountains, you don’t get to be a “local” unless you were born here- period. Too bad kid- as the Hindus say- better luck next life.

On the other hand, it’s only a scant four-hour drive between here and the New York City suburb where I grew up, but I fit in there about as well as a… a …. a gooseberry in a half-caff iced latte moccacino.

So you can see my dilemma. My mother, lives in New York and calls herself a New Yorker- and she is. (Of course, you can have moved to New York from the Outer Flamblastic Nebula yesterday, have polka dotted skin, and speak only in homonyms, and still be considered a perfectly legitimate New Yorker.) But I’m pretty clearly not. How do I know? Well, I have this weird propensity to smile at people. And I have a bizarre aversion to having TVs shoved in my face everywhere I go. And I don’t swear nearly enough. So you can see I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or a farmstand and a Starbucks if you prefer. Continue reading Native to Nowhere →